郁闷

现在心情极度郁闷！！

我觉得自己快要被那座叫压力的山压死了

从前的开心日子不知道哪里去了，现在只觉得是为了责任而完成

我很郁闷很烦恼甚至反感

我很不想要变成一个只会逃避问题的人，可是我做不到

什么时候开始，我从一个人家说的“很强硬的女生”变得很脆弱，不堪一击

每次当你提起这话题时，我都不想回答

不是因为我无言以对，是我不想在你面前流眼泪

我经不起你那种关心的眼神

我只能望着你笑着说“我没事”

it's the raya break

raya break is coming up,are you guys ready for the two-weeks break?

going anywhere with your special ones? or you plan to spend time all by yourselves?

before this i planned to spend my holidays with my family,for not going back home for quite some time.maybe ask them to go on a trip with me, go for movies and popcorns, perhaps a karaoke session!

but...aiks! my break was ruined =/

i have to finish stacks of assignments and presentations before school starts. tests, presentations after presentations after raya holidays,OMG.2 weeks time is definitely not enough for me

well, i will have 2 camps held in Bukit Mertajam and Skudai, soon during my break.yea,it's the CAMP again. sometimes me myself feel stressed about organizing camps, it's not like the camps that we did during our secondary, somehow i have a kinda responsible to make it a perfect and wonderful one. hope everything went well during our camp =)

oh yea,i went to Melacca last week,with my coursemates. it supposed to be a course trip,but end up only 6 of us went,haha. it was fun though! i could say that Melacca was really a nice place to travel! things are cheaper there, people there are friendly enough, and i LOVE the night scenery along the Sungai Melacca! because of that,i fell in love with Melacca, a romantic city i called =)

dont miss out to watch the night scenery if you got the chance to go there!

this is one of my favourite photo from Melacca trip, taken at the St Paul Church by a sweet angmoh lady.you know she even climbed on steep ground just to take a beautiful photo for us,how nice is she!

it's all for now,enjoy your holidays no matter where you are!

annyeong~

小小草

很想说什么

但说不出口。。。

有时候，宁愿自己是个不知名的小人物

宁愿自己平凡

宁愿在自己的世界里沉默下去

花朵，永远都那么受人瞩目

而他，只是花朵身边的一棵小草

小草笑容灿烂，花儿略显娇柔

小草慵慵懒懒，花儿更显活泼

小草平平凡凡，花儿艳丽四射

别人只看得见花的美丽

但人们不知道的是，是小草衬托了花儿的美

花朵沾沾自喜

小草暗自垂泪

谁叫我是一棵小小草？

亲爱的，我想你们！

啊，最近我的亲爱的他们过的好像不是很好，我好希望可以在你们身边给你们鼓励，陪你们大喊！

本来以为我会有时间找你们聊天的，但是现在我自己也忙到傻了。知道吗，从这个学期开学到现在，没有一天晚上我是可以在房间静静的发呆。基本上每天10点后才回到房间，又要洗衣服，然后睁着一半的眼睛作assignment。

累，心理很累。

你们的 fengfeng 开始撑不下去了。=/

啊，对了！我们大学来了一大班韩国学生哦！^^

我昨天跟他们出去，到瓜拉雪兰莪看萤火虫！

天啊，你们可以想象一下我昨天是多么多么多么开心！终于实现了我的愿望！

hohoho！而且啊，明天开始，我有一个专属老师教我韩语哦！我真的是“百忙之中”抽空出来学的，但为了完成我的韩国梦，死也要死过去！哈哈哈！！

上了课后在跟你们说我的韩国课故事吧！

我“主修”的活动-全中华生活营，下个星期开跑了！

说真的我很紧张，毕竟现在的身份不同了，所以我常常是压力多过享受。

希望我们会成功啦！

喂！你们！你们！你们！我想念你们的声音和sms！

不管什么事，记得要update我哈！

夜

我看起来很得空？很悠闲？

如果是这样就好！

把自己搞得像超人酱，自己有时也不明白到底我要的“充实的大学生活”是不是就是这样。

有时候真的很累，搞不清楚是什么让我这样累。

不久前读到一篇文章说“某些人，就是会作贱自己，为了迎合别人，为了让大家喜欢”。感觉文章里写的那个人就是我。我每天忙来忙去，应该就是在忙着做别人喜欢的我。

自己也觉得很假，假到近乎真情，每天每天作着不是我的我，逼真到我都觉得那是真正的我

我班上有个很有智慧的同学说过 “总要为自己的人生创造一些刺激，有时候要做一些疯狂的事。可是千万不可以无时无刻都那么刺激，那么HIGH。偶尔制造的高潮会为你的人生带来一些快乐，可是当这些快乐一直被机械化的重复又重复，它就不是快乐了。” 他说“如果你一整天都很兴奋很HIGH很开心，这样一整天下来，到晚上冷静下来的时候你会感觉特别空虚，到底今天一整天我在HIGH什么？开心什么？” 他说那些可以制造出来的开心反而令你更不开心。

我也想做个每天摆臭脸，或者严肃的人，虽然会被排挤，但至少不必整天这样做贱自己。

可是怎么办？每次，看到闷闷不乐的朋友，我就会说些无厘头的笑话逗他笑，甚至自嘲，扮傻。

结果我就这样，变成很好欺负的人。

大家都认为我没有脾气，开玩笑也从来不客气，甚至要shoot我也不用考虑我的心情，因为他们知道我从来不会为这些事发脾气。

不知道，不知道！我也不想知道，烦死了！

publicity in UM

全中华(QZH) is recruiting new juniors and members into our big family,so we went for publicity in many faculties and colleges(hostels)

today is me, Lian and Sheauwei's turn to duty,we went to 1st 2nd 6th college.

that was the first time since i entered UM,going to 1st and 6th college,funny isnt it?the funnier thing is we even asked a 1st year student how to go 6th college,and they feel unbelievable when we told them we're already 2nd year,they're like "i thought you're already 2nd year? but how come you dont know where's 6th college?" speechless.

but i promise i gotta walk more to these colleges cause you know what,all the future professionals are living there! the doctors the lawyers and engineers. how envious I am to be like the girls inside,unlike in my case,i'm only staying with accountants and business people,how boring...(wow,i'm staring to blame my life,and it's only the 2nd week of my 2nd year)

i suddenly felt so in love about doing publicity(usually i hate this) cause the juniors are cute!! they are so mannered and patiently listening to our long introduction. and i love chatting with them,they laughed and smiled over my stupid jokes and opinions about UM,i had this great sense of accomplishment after chatting with them. because everyone enjoyed when i was promoting this supposingly-boring QZH to them,haha

and seriously i found that more and more lenglui lengzai entered UM,wow~time to catch some new dish *evil grins*

i get to met 2 of my CHS juniors today!!!! Zi Wei and Jun Fai! so lucky of me =)

i could totally understand the feeling when they met me,just like you found an ice cream in the desert, i'm the ice cream anyways! i'm so excited knowing them and meting them inside UM campus, you know i always envy my friends over UMS or UUM,because they've got bunch of CHS seniors who took care them when they're new to uni. i always wanted a senior like that,i mean if you come from the same school,you'll somehow feel better seeing him or talking to him,right?

so,i'm going to be that kind of senior to the 5 pity chsians in UM,hehe..and btw,really love talking with chsian,they are smart yet 38 enough,perhaps we owned the CHS blood,so we feel so home =)

and i learned something today: smile and mood are affective to others.so always keep your mood lighten up and you'll see a beautiful world.

heyyy,i'm back!

it's almost one month i didnt update my blog

after reading eu's blog,i feel like i should write something too

this was the best semester break i had,i went to China twice,to Beijing and Shanghai.

the first one is to attend a summer programme offered by the China HanBan (chinese education ministry),we stayed for 21 days and traveled to many many beautiful places.undeniably,i love Beijing, but not counting in the china people.THEY ARE WAY TOO RUDE!

and the following trip is all by my own,i went Shanghai, initially, to visit the World EXPO, but ended i spent more time to meet my friends and walked around with them.it's a great experience to EXPO,but believe me it wasnt THAT great like everyone said.one day is enough.

when i met all of my ex-coursemates in SJTU,i felt so sad,if it wasnt of the offer letter from UM,i will be there right now, staying with them, studying with them, having fun with them, clubbing with them, working in EXPO with them....

i always miss the life with my form6 friends and with the SJTUians

ok,back to the lovely malaysia by sunday night,tired like hell.

today,is the second day of my 2nd year life,still the same,my life is busy and packed.i swear i'm not going to join THIS much activities next year,i should really reserve my precious university semester break for my dear friends,i know you guys are blaming me for not appearing in much of the gatherings,haha

i moved to a new room, in the same College(hostel),and i had new roommates,beautiful girls :)

it's a stressful thing to stay with coursemate, i start to feel it now.not that she's not good, but i will stress on myself alot to avoid doing things that will cause her anger or dissatisfaction towards me.i'm now learning "the way of living", it's tough.

woohoo people~it's the new semester!!!!cheer up cheer up!! i believe all of us will have a great great time enjoying/busying with our lifes of 2nd year.no matter what,just be you and have fun!

ps: welcome the new juniors to my faculty my college my university and, welcome to my life =)