Saturday, March 17, 2012

大相,为什么搞得大家那么累?

活动总免不了吃蛇的人。
总有些人有许多借口:其他活动、功课、时间等问题而无法出席这个那个
我发现,现在的大一生,问题很严重。或许他们的课业真的很繁重,或许真的因为是一年级生,被“拉”进很多活动/社团,所以忙得团团转。
还有些,总是仗着自己是学弟/妹,每当工作发下去的时候总是多番推辞。什么都不会,但什么都不学,也从不肯付出。
我总是被这些人搞得很无言。一个活动搞到最后,缺席的人远比出席的人多;找借口的人远比认真学习的人多。
我心伤悲,莫知我哀。
但,我也看开了,参加活动就是这样。

但是,最心痛的,莫过于曾经和我“同生共死”的全4战友。
他们往往一句话,都会让我沮丧很久很久,让我不断怀疑起自己的决定,让我双重内疚。
当初找他们加入,是因为我以为他们懂,他们会支持我,毕竟我们曾经一起经历了很多风风雨雨。或许,他们真的是有带着被逼得成分加入的,但我真心希望他们可以在这里有另一番造化/学习/见识。
但是每次看到我,就说自己是被我逼进来的;不管是有意还是无意,这句话真的让我心痛。
偶尔看到他们真的做到很累很辛苦了,我也不知道该如何安慰他们。想当初,我们很累的时候,大伙儿就挤在一起休息聊天。现在,我也不敢随便在他们面前喊累了,毕竟身份不同,又要担心会给他们压力、又担心引起他们反感。看到他们那么累,我却什么也不能做,这种窘境真的令人沮丧。

我甚至担心,会不会因为我,搞到连朋友都做不了了?
有时,开完会,他们就会整群人去喝茶/吃晚餐,唯独没有约我。可能他们心里是觉得我还有很多事情忙,所以就不约我了?可是这种感觉真不好受!我们是曾经共同进退的战友啊!怎么现在好像你们都是同个阵线上的?然后我成了你们的公敌?

我承认,我的人际关系真的不好。叫我跟别人打闹,开玩笑,我还行。可是真正要把“人际关系”这个东西派上正式场合上,我是不合格的考生。在这个方面,不得不承认紫婷是我见过最厉害的领导。厉害之处不在于她怎么犀利,反而是他能温柔的对待所有人,却让所有人服服帖帖,不压力很开心的心情下完成工作,而且成果都很好。

接下这个担子之前我一直在考虑。我知道接下来后,压力肯定很大;可是不接,我就永远没有办法面对和克服我的问题。虽然身为大三即将毕业的人,接活动是件吃力不讨好的事,可是为了不要让自己再逃避,最终作了这个决定。
是否因为我这个决定,害了你们?
如果当初没有接下这个担子,我的“EX-战友”们就不会那么辛苦。 或许有一位更好的领导能带领大家,那些juniors们也会心甘情愿的付出。 整体成果可能比现在好很多。我也不用那么烦恼,甚至可以尽心准备在大学最后一年的演出。

我真不该。真的对不起!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

说谎

就算是好朋友,有时候也需要谎言的存在。

如果时间可以倒回
我宁愿当时没有向他说出那些话
宁愿编造善意的谎言来安抚他
宁愿他觉得我是个大坏蛋,也不想要让他伤心。

诚实,有可能是一种错误吗?

Thursday, December 15, 2011

simply emo

everything is not working right recently
i'm so stucked in the whole failing life

for 3 years, I've been rolling in and out, mixing around and I always thought i have more friends than i thought i had. and the truth is, yes i have but all of them are just friends, hardly find a friend who can really stand up for you when you needed them. this is really pathetic.

i'm seriously regreting, accepting the offer of leading this team, incomplete team. i just dont know why i could do such a decision, and end up regreting to the max! enemies knows you the best, maybe it's right. she did mentioned that i couldnt hold up to so much things, cos i may end up making myself another creature like before. and things proof that, what she say might be true.

assignments are stacking and pilling up with greater heights, and i just dont feel like completing it at all! what's wrong with me? and i felt so sorry when my teammates/coursemates are doing better than me, and they usually did it well, which makes me guilty cos i'm the one who pull them down. sighs, i'm not a good team player i thought. all my passions are gone, nothing can like push me up to reach those targets, i just feel so good slacking dead -.- i know the problem exist but i just cnt help it,why?

and things in relationship arent going smooth. to be accurate, it's a mess and miserable.owh why.

sometimes i would really prefer myself in another country, either studying or working. i mean i need a whole new life. i'm fed up of the boring life i had here,i need something to fresh me up! yes! fresh me up please!




arghhhhh!!! i thought writing might soothe my feelings and emos, but,it's the same half hours ago
i'm being too weird these days,i cant understand myself even.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

雨过天晴

我明了
既然知道继续下去也不会有结果,不如现在就结束
是的,我要退出,祝你和她幸福

往往朋友的一句话可以让我重新振作起来,谢谢你,朋友!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

我喜欢上他了。同时,被抛弃了。

我想要看到那个抛下假面具,在我面前大哭的男孩
我希望可以陪他吃晚餐,两人的晚餐
我想要在戏院,偷偷牵他的手,互相取暖
我还想要他一直打电话给我,就算是被他酸两句也无所谓
我想要成为他倾诉的对象,我想帮他分担
我想在他来接我的时候,帮他折袖子,然后说“有家的感觉吗?”
我想我想我想

我以为,爱情终于降临了
可是他竟然说“我还忘不了她,我还没准备好进入下一段感情”
我无言了。心情糟透了!
他却天真地还以为,我心情不好是另外一个男人造成的

从来没有过的低落!
我才发现,以前暗恋单恋什么的都是假的。
现在这个才是真正的“喜欢”
因为来得没有预告,在我懵懵然的情况下,心房已经悄悄打开了
不知怎么的,不知何时。
我就在被拒绝的那一刻发现
我喜欢上他了


*****
既然你要活在你和她的回忆里
我只能接受
我始终没办法让你有“再一次心动”的感觉
但谢谢你,让我心动了
让我明白什么是“喜欢”

Saturday, July 23, 2011

i'm a freelancer!

alright,end up i didnt get to arrange my exchange in time,so i postpone it next year. KOREA,wait for me ya ;D

so so so,i used the internet tools to search for jobs.this is really an E-century, i didnt know job searching is that easy till i used it!
i went to PWTC last week,working as an event crew! this is so cool,cause i get to wear FULL FORMAL to serve visitors!! and i looked like a professional OL with the black coat =)
met a bunch of great friends during work, nice and sweet people

less than one week after that event job, i got a call from friend,working as sales promoter,also for an event. honestly that time when i promised,i was attracted by the salary actually, and i thought it was quite easy, who knows.....
the first day i'm on duty,i work with two guys which i dont know at all. my supervisor gave me instant training, i have to memorize all the price, product functions, series number, value redeem points within 2 hour. okay,so i tried all my best to memorize it, though my memorizing skills sucks like shit, and already rotten since primary.
my supervisor is a guy who's really UN-KIND in treating part timers, when i first done something wrong, get the codes wrongly or stuffs, he'll straight away shoot me, without giving face. alright,i knew this kinda stuff would sure happen, so i just let him scold without saying anything back. but heyyy,he's giving me more and more stress and with him standing by my side,how am i supposed to promote things well? THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO IMPROVE YOUR PART TIMERS! i can be a better trainer really!
that's not the worst part!
i really dont prefer their kind of style/ attitude in promoting. my style of treating customer is : educate them how our product works, let them know and compare themselves, no pushing hard. and i always treat my customers with smiles, in a friendly way to promote. BUT! everytime when my customers, after a long time of speech, they end up saying "it's too expensive, we gotta think first" or "i'll come back to you" or "i'll see first", i will gratefully say THANK YOU with a big smile on my face~ turning back,my supervisor and the other "so-called top sales guy" will come over and TEACH me how to shoot back customers:
"auntie, if no money then dont spend your time here la"
"why need to see first? if you like just buy lahh!"
"said u forget to bring credit card,trying to bluff me ah? why dont you say you go school forget to bring your bags?"
my supervisor even said: 你不用怕customer的,敢敢shoot 他们!逼他们买!要不然你讲酱多有什么用?讲到半死都没有sales,这样叫你来做么?你要讲了他们会买,才可以的嘛,要不然就是浪费时间而已。那些不要买的,就不要讲料,我们还有很多customer要serve的。

after listening to his theories i was like OMG.
now i know what is call the true world! all of them are filled with wicked thoughts!

is not that i cant do sales, but i really cant do it that way! that's seriously not my style!
luckily my "friendly-style" of promoting saved me for the next two days!my sales are comparable with the "top sale guy" in their company, and one of my customer even said to me : oh,i like you,you're so friendly!
those words made my day and made everything i had before this worthy =))


and of course, i wont get beaten by these devils! i will proof that : MY WAY WORKS!
be like and angel and you'll be rewarded just like an angel =D

Thursday, June 23, 2011

好久不见

真的好久好久没有为我的部落格更新了。
因为一直都被活动捆着,虽然有时也有想BLOG的冲动,但最后还是肚子里的懒惰重作祟,在facebook草草update了status。反正现在大家都有面子书,而且可以随时随地更换最新状态,说实在的,比部落格容易多了。

可是,就像我朋友说的,把那些不可以公开的小秘密写进部落格比较好,至少有个发泄的管道,而且可以让身边的好友关注一下最新的“心理状态”,哈哈!


最近的情绪大概是:持续很高涨的度假心情!
为什么呢?因为本人从五月尾就放假啦~!!!到现在行程一直都是满满的!不停的南下北上,还出国到上海玩了一圈才回来!看似写意的生活,其实我的内心还是很空洞,一直在等什么机会让我出去闯一闯,等着完成我的韩国留学梦!等啊等,不知道我的梦什么时候才能实现。

第二个让我最近情绪高涨的,是因为我有喜欢的人啦!终于愿意喜欢上的人 :) 他是我大学的学长,一个外表帅帅,但又很可爱的一个人!