simply emo

everything is not working right recently

i'm so stucked in the whole failing life

for 3 years, I've been rolling in and out, mixing around and I always thought i have more friends than i thought i had. and the truth is, yes i have but all of them are just friends, hardly find a friend who can really stand up for you when you needed them. this is really pathetic.

i'm seriously regreting, accepting the offer of leading this team, incomplete team. i just dont know why i could do such a decision, and end up regreting to the max! enemies knows you the best, maybe it's right. she did mentioned that i couldnt hold up to so much things, cos i may end up making myself another creature like before. and things proof that, what she say might be true.

assignments are stacking and pilling up with greater heights, and i just dont feel like completing it at all! what's wrong with me? and i felt so sorry when my teammates/coursemates are doing better than me, and they usually did it well, which makes me guilty cos i'm the one who pull them down. sighs, i'm not a good team player i thought. all my passions are gone, nothing can like push me up to reach those targets, i just feel so good slacking dead -.- i know the problem exist but i just cnt help it,why?

and things in relationship arent going smooth. to be accurate, it's a mess and miserable.owh why.

sometimes i would really prefer myself in another country, either studying or working. i mean i need a whole new life. i'm fed up of the boring life i had here,i need something to fresh me up! yes! fresh me up please!

arghhhhh!!! i thought writing might soothe my feelings and emos, but,it's the same half hours ago

i'm being too weird these days,i cant understand myself even.